Sunday, November 13, 2016

Stiff Things: The Splatterporn Anthology


Stiff Things: The Splatterporn Anthology

Written by: Brandon Ford , Cori Vidae , Brian Rosenberger , Olive Whittier , Tanker Ray , Kristopher Triana
Narrated by: Joe Hempel
Length: 5 hrs and 20 mins
Unabridged Audiobook
Release Date:10-19-16
Publisher: Comet Press 

I don’t even know where to begin there is some really twisted stories in here that will leave you with your mouth hung open and brain saying there is no way I heard that right. This is horror at its finest leaving you no doubt there are some really twisted people out there and hoping praying you never meet them. J When the narrator posted he was looking for reviews “PM ME IF YOU DARE” he typed…okay you got my attention. I ask how you can you turn down a dare like that…NOT ME… I really didn’t have a clue what I just requested but it didn’t take me long to tell myself maybe we are in a little too deep here. From the start of the story there is no doubt this is hard core porn and I said to my self- self are you really going to listen to this. Self said a promise is a promise so yes we are.  That lead me to looks of horror, thinking OH MY GOD that is nasty, really, wow didn’t see that coming, to shock as well as shaking in my shoes…okay maybe not the shaking part but I know I never want to meet any of these people. You have been warned…read on if you dare.

Mr. Hempel my hats off to you for the outstanding narration of this book. I am sure you set with your legs crossed and hands over your lap a time or two as you worked your way through this story. I had no trouble at all feeling the excitement of each character at the build up for some thrilling exciting sex scenes.  You even had me feeling sorry for mankind and wanting to pull a few people right out of the pages as they took on the pleasure and then the pain when the end was clear. I found his character voices to be wonderful you have no trouble knowing who is talking, or how much pleasure they are in along with how much pain they feel along with the excitement the deliver is feeling as they bring the pleasure and pain on. There were no background noise (if there had been I would most likely have jumped out of my car running for my life) nor any places where the volume was louder than any other place in the audio. What this narrator gives you is clean, crisp, clear audio that will leave you shaking your head. You have no trouble visualizing what he has just given you it is very vivid that you become so invested you might forget where you where you are and what you are doing.  I really wish I could give more than 5 Stars the narration was outstanding.

The first story starts out they are looking for some action as they have a few VERY HOT scenes with their selves. They finally found one to take up the call went home and got it on for everyone on the net as you yourself think oh and not in a good way. You think what are these people thinking and then you find out. As I was almost to work the audio left me speechless with my mouth hung open think no way that just happened. Yep Yep it did and lord they aren’t done. I had to set in my car listening until the end came still leaving me speechless. I have to honestly say this title fits the book in more ways than one. It will not be the first of these stories that will leave you speechless there are a few. Some I didn’t really care for it was a little hard to understand what the author was trying to show you but horror no doubt is in there. Others will leave you so shocked you won’t be able to talk leaving you looking straight ahead with eyes blinking afraid to face just what happened. Some are nasty beyond nasty and some will make you want to upchuck.  This is one book that is filled with psychosexual horror that will leave men with their legs crossed and pulling back into their selves wishing they could run but to afraid to move.  It will leave women shaking in horror wanting to run the other way.  If you love horror and erotic take the dare and pick this up you will never see humans the same again. I know I am keeping an eye on those around me and I don’t think I will be making any new friends anytime soon. Lol This is just too horrible and to nasty but I bet it will stick with you for a long time. It’s not an audio for the weak there are some very vivid details that you won’t even have to close your eyes to see.  I am still shaking my head.  Words cannot do justice to some of these stories….

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Summary

Don't get any on you.
When Comet Press put out the call for submissions for Stiff Things, we said we were ready to ratchet up the eroticism and visceral intensity with hardcore stories that penetrate new depths of psychosexual horror.
But we weren't as ready as we thought we were for the extreme stuff that came flooding in on waves of blood and other bodily fluids we won't mention here. Not that we're complaining.
In other words, we got what we wished for...and more. So much more that calling it an anthology of erotic horror was no longer strong enough.
The stories themselves dictated a new title. And so here are the stories for this upcoming release with a more apt title:
Stiff Things: The Splatterporn Anthology
Modern Celebrity, by Brandon Ford
Suckers, by Cori Vidae and Brian Rosenberger
One Ear, Always to the Land of the Dead, by Olive Whittier
Godf---ed, by Tanker Ray
The Solution, by Kristopher Triana
Hunter's Moon, by S.C. Hayden
If My Face Were Transparent, You'd See the Devil, by Eric LaRocca
Charlotte the Harlot, by Shequila Rayne
The Penis of the Marquis de Sade, by Andrew Darlington
The Extra Mile, by Paul Allih



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